Overcoming Fear: How to Face Challenges and Build Confidence
- findyourstep
- Dec 2, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 3, 2024

For as long as I can remember, fear has been a steady presence in my life. At one point, it was the fear of heights. Another time, it was the deep, dark abyss of open water. These fears felt all-consuming, like an invisible chain holding me back. But one day, I made a decision: I didn’t want fear to dictate my choices anymore.
So, I started confronting them head-on. I went skydiving (yes, jumping out of a perfectly good plane), signed up for trapeze lessons, and even took a few flying lessons. Slowly but surely, that suffocating fear of heights began to ease. Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m not about to scale skyscrapers without my knees knocking. But I can hike up steep trails or enjoy rooftop views without my stomach twisting into knots.
Recently, I decided to tackle another big one: the deep blue sea. I signed up for an open-water scuba certification course, and let me tell you, it tested every fiber of my being. The course required taking off your mask and swimming underwater, diving 60 feet below the surface—all while knowing that panic could be your worst enemy.
During the class, I hated every minute of it. My anxiety was through the roof, and I honestly questioned why I had even signed up. But now that it’s over, I’m incredibly proud of myself for trying. Did I finish the certification? Nope. I completed three out of four dives, and I’m okay with that.
You might be wondering, “Aren’t you embarrassed?” Honestly? Not one bit. Here’s the thing: I don’t plan on diving again—it’s just not for me. But I learned so much about myself in the process. I pushed past my fear, proved to myself that I could do hard things, and then gave myself permission to stop when I knew I’d reached my limit.
Why Facing Fear Matters
When we face our fears in a safe and controlled way, our brain starts to rewire itself through a process called "extinction learning." At first, our brain links the feared situation—like public speaking or heights—with danger, which triggers anxiety or panic. But if we repeatedly confront the fear without anything bad happening, our brain learns that the situation isn’t as scary as we thought. Over time, this creates new connections in the brain, replacing the fear response with a sense of safety. This process not only reduces fear but also boosts confidence, builds resilience, and helps us feel more in control. It’s like training a muscle—the more you practice, the stronger your calm and courage become.
Facing your fears has real, measurable benefits for your mental health. Research shows that avoiding fears reinforces them, making it harder to overcome in the long run (Craske et al., 2014). However, gradually confronting them in small steps can help you desensitize and break the fear cycle. Beyond reducing fear, it strengthens your ability to handle challenges in other areas of life, giving you a sense of empowerment and control.
The Importance of Knowing Your Limits
While facing fear is crucial, there’s another side to the story: knowing when to step back. Pushing too hard or ignoring your limits can lead to burnout, heightened anxiety, and even physical harm. Research on stress and resilience highlights the importance of balance. The Yerkes-Dodson Law, for instance, suggests that performance improves with moderate stress levels but declines when stress becomes excessive (Teigen, 1994).
For me, recognizing my limits during that scuba course wasn’t giving up—it was respecting what my body and mind were telling me. There’s a difference between challenging yourself and pushing yourself to the point of unnecessary harm.
Practical Steps to Move Past Fear
Start Small: Break your fear into manageable steps. For instance, if you’re afraid of public speaking, start by practicing in front of a mirror, then move on to a small, supportive audience before tackling a larger crowd.
Educate Yourself: Fear often thrives on the unknown. Learning about the thing you fear—whether it’s how scuba diving equipment works or how airplanes stay in the air—can make it feel less intimidating.
Practice Mindfulness: Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises can help you stay calm in the face of fear (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). These practices reduce the body’s fight-or-flight response, helping you stay present and focused.
Reflect and Celebrate: After facing a fear, take time to reflect on what you’ve learned and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This reinforces positive associations and builds your confidence for the next challenge.
Know When to Stop: Listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right or is draining you beyond what’s healthy, it’s okay to step back. Quitting doesn’t always mean failing—it can mean honoring yourself.
Final Thoughts
There’s a lesson here: moving past fear doesn’t mean bulldozing through every challenge just for the sake of it. It means knowing yourself—when to push forward and when to let go without guilt. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is step back and say, “I tried, and that’s enough.”
So, if there’s a fear holding you back, I encourage you to face it. Take that first step, even if your hands are shaking and your heart is racing. But also, listen to yourself. If you feel deep down that you’ve done enough, give yourself permission to stop. There’s no shame in setting limits. Strength isn’t about never stopping; it’s about knowing when to keep going and when to give yourself grace.
You’ve got this. ❤️
References
Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., & Vervliet, B. (2014). Maximizing exposure therapy: An inhibitory learning approach. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 58, 10–23. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.04.006
Foa, E. B., McLean, C. P., Zang, Y., Zhong, J., Rauch, S., Porter, K., & Kauffman, B. Y. (2019). Exposure therapy for PTSD: Advances and challenges. Depression and Anxiety, 36(8), 697–706. https://doi.org/10.1002/da.22935
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144–156. https://doi.org/10.1093/clipsy.bpg016
Teigen, K. H. (1994). Yerkes-Dodson: A law for all seasons. Theory & Psychology, 4(4), 525–547. https://doi.org/10.1177/0959354394044004
**Read if it feels right to you. My intention is not to pressure anyone into my faith, but these verses have been a source of solace for me in hard times. I share them with love, in case they can bring peace to someone else.
Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV):
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV):
"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
You bring a very common sense way to tackle those things that challenge us and mix it with encouragement
Thank you!!